Ecchi (エッチetchi?, pronounced [et.tɕi]) is an often used slang term in the Japanese language for lewd or lascivious conduct.
“So, how many then?”
“Really?” I took a sip of my whiskey. “Over a span of…?”
“5 years. I have it all recorded, on a spread sheet. You have to record it all.”
“Jesus, that’s alot, man.”
“Japanese girls, man. Sex. They are fuckin’ obsessed with it.”
I have a theory and it is nothing more than a theory. It’s based on personal experience and on things I have seen and heard about. I am a fairly observant person and I pick up on the things behind what people are saying. I think about these hints and clues and I often wonder what they mean.
Returning to my theory, it is as follows: If we could some how sit down a random selection of foreign men in Japan and then subsequently pump them all full of a suitable amount of Sodium Amytal and then we asked them clearly “During the first 25% of your tenure in Japan, what was your primary motivation for sticking it out?” The over arching theme, I am guessing, would be simply SEX.
It is everywhere all the time and the concept that nearly HALF the female population has “zero interest in it” is laughably absurd.
Everyone has read the reports and heard the statistics: The Japanese are not having sex and the birthrate is plummeting. The younger generations are celibate and they have lost interest in intercourse, relationships and sex in general.
Half the country just stopped getting-it-on.
Or did they?
Prostitution is rampant in Japan. It is simply everywhere. Street workers, clubs, “Compensated dating”, pro-escorts, “delivery health” (Domi-hoes, anyone?) and etc. It is incredibly accessible and is a huge business. The image is different from in other countries as well. To many Japanese it is viewed almost as some sort of “Necessary Evil”. Many Japanese women (many, by no means all and I have no stats on this) have said as long as her man keeps it hush-hush a trip to a love hotel with a hooker is preferable to him dating a woman on the side. In fact, in some families, this money is allotted by the wives (who traditionally manage family expenses) and given out to the husbands monthly; “don’t ask don’t tell” what this extra 25,000 yen is for.
The numbers do not lie either.
As we can see above Japan moves 24 BILLION DOLLARS a year around in prostitution money. That’s a lot. It’s even more when we take a moment and carefully look at these numbers in context. The population of Japan, everyone (mommies, kids, grandaddies, angry salary men, your girlfriend etc) is about 127,650,000 people. That means, based on these numbers, last year everyone one in Japan, everyone, could have spent about 188 dollars on hookers.
China however, although having spent 73 billion on the sex trade has a population of 1,393,783,836 meaning every single person in the country only had about 52 dollars to spend on some ass.
Now, some of you are jumping to conclusions. “But, in China it would be so much cheaper, just like everything else, including human life.”
But would it, really?
In Shanghai an hour with a woman of the night will cost you around 360 USD. Tokyo? 160 USD. What’s more, I know that four blocks from where I am writing this a man can wander into a shop and have inter-course with a woman for less than 100USD; not in an alley full of dirty needles but in a “clean” love hotel. And that is the point:
The population is smaller with an economy allegedly in a recession yet someone, some how is spending nearly DOUBLE what the entire United States does, with a population twice the size and prices twice as high, on sex. That’s big business and that’s big sex. That is really a lot of sex with prostitutes, Japan.
Enter the Porno
Shimiken is the Bruce Lee of Japanese pornography. Details magazine did a piece on him worth reading if you like feeling soiled.
Although the motivations and life style of some guy who makes sex videos does not interest me much, the numbers in the industry matter if anyone is going to spout things such as “The Japanese have lost interest in sex.”
Because, have they, even?
As we see in this KAWAII!!!! infographic, the “average” Japanese consumer spent 157 USD per year on porn. That is TRIPLE what the average American consumer spends. Now, a high-class thought experiment: Are these people buying porno to collect it and let it age aesthetically hoping to slowly appreciate it with snooty friends decades from now? Or, are they buying this material so they can take it home and furiously jack-off to it?
I’m no Noam Chomsky, but I am leaning more toward “furiously jack-off to it”.
The Orgasmic Conclusion
Despite the epidemic of “sexless” marriages and the plunging birthrate the data is clear. The Japanese have not “lost interest in sex” and they have not become “celibate”. They have, likely for a combination of nebulous culture reasons, gradually decided to engage in sexual escapades outside of the “conventional” borders of a “romantic relationship.” This likely goes for men as well as women.
Sex is not broken here, but the traditional Japanese relationship dynamic might be.
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I’ve suspected as much. My sister and I went out with a couple of herbivore guys a couple of times — real herbivores, not otaku — and I said to her, I bet if we’d said to them it’s our last night in Tokyo, how about heading to a love hotel for a quickie, they’d have been totally up for it.
I’m not sure about women but I’d bet for men it’s not the sex they don’t want, it’s the relationship that is going to lead to them being married and the sole support of a wife and couple of kids.
Maybe women feel the same way – it’s better for them to hook up; with a guy (and a foreign guy outside their social circle is even better) than to be weighed down with the obligations of a relationship. It’s a hard call though. Like most foreigners in Japan, the locals I’m friends with or even talk to are naturally going to be the ones who are more Westernised in their thinking.
Married Japanese men are the worst. I’m not young and I’m not hot but I could’ve made a pile of money sleeping with Japanese salarymen. They have no concept that the idea of offering a woman money for sex is wrong. If those are the official figures, I’d say they are huge underestimation.
When the media say the Japanese aren’t interested in sex I think they should append “with their partner”.
I wanted to show just with hard numbers how bullshit this idea of a “sexless” Japan is. But I totally agree with you about salary-men. But a lot of that is also the fault of the stereotypical Japanese wife: tacitly condoning this kind of activity.
You can understand it if both parties have gone into the marriage as a business arrangement – you give me financial stability and I’ll give you a couple of kids then we’ll both do our own thing. Everybody wins. Well, except me because I have to deal with pervy old men. And the kids, it’s probably hard on them too.
I’m sick of westerner’s creepy voyeuristic articles and stories about Japanese people’s sexual behavior which often include exaggeration or rumor or false or bullshit or at worst racism. I don’t think you are a racist. But you stupidly generalize extremely too. I know many married Japanese men who love their partner and children and work hard every day for them with a little pin money. And of course, the vast majority of people like and want ordinary romantic relationship.
You seem to be the one stereotyping and imposing false generalizations on the Japanese. Who says a man who occasionally visits a prostitute and enjoys safe sex, a completely standard desire of most men, doesn’t love his partner or children? How does this have anything to do with him “working hard every day for them”? There is no connection; simply your own projections insisting that someone who engages is these behaviors somehow can’t love his wife. I never make anything remotely like this assertion in the post. In addition to that, how you seem to be defining “an ordinary romantic relationship” is unlikely to match up with what I have witnessed, and numerous university and government studies have shown in Japan, as the most common determining factors in selecting a marriage partner here. Do some research because the desire for a “Romantic relationship” is way down on that list.
Those definitely aren’t average prices in China. Sounds quite a bit on the high side.
You still have to factor in economic adjustment (value of dollar) somewhat… Yeah there are hotels and places that will be the same prices as the US (~$200 – usually targeting foreigners and the more affluent)… but there are many, many more places that are geared towards the general population in China that range anywhere from $25-$75USD.
As I mentioned in the article that applies in Japan as well. There is simply no data available.
I really like your blog as it usually treats Japan related topics from a different perspective, but I can’t take the data presented at face value.
I must ask where did the infographics come from, I mean, Spain is a 46 million people country, that averages to 588 dollars per person. Really? That just means that the info is probably a guess (and a really bad one), so it really clouds the rest of the data, even if one agrees with the general idea of the post.
it comes from this taipe times article http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/archives/2009/09/06/2003452868
if you want more info go here: http://www.havocscope.com/prostitution-revenue-by-country/
Many of them are from reports done by the ECONOMIST.
“Japanese girls, man. Sex. They are fuckin’ obsessed with it.”
I’ve only met two Japanese girls who were obsessed with sex, and it was always within a relationship. I’m dubious of a “hookup” culture even existing here when the majority of women I talk to accuse any approach or invitation from a man as 出会い目的 or ヤリモク.
Interesting. Because that is completely not what I have experienced and witnessed with other friends here as well. I know people who have lived here for years just for the women and sex. But everyone’s experience is bound to be different.
I’m wondering where guys meet sex-crazed women here. Roppongi is a chore just trying to figure out what’s a legit watering hole and not a Nigerian scam, and the clubs in Shibuya have “women only” seating that’s packed, with most girls coming in massive groups or with their boyfriends.
I am wondering if you are not just trolling now. Because, it’s hard for me to believe a foreign man living in Tokyo cannot meet women easily. Roppongi is not my style at all but meeting women there and going home with a woman that night are extremely easy to do. Shibuya, any Friday or Saturday night at any of the many foreign style pubs it is no problem to meet loads of people. I met two of my ex’s IN Shibuya at THOSE pubs; Shinjuku, Daikanyama, Ikebukuro. All these places are crawling with women. Finally, online. Tinder is hitting Japan big time now. Skout. OKC. JC and even Japan-guide. There are literally hundreds of thousands of single women, and some not so single, looking to meet someone new.
Not trolling at all. Maybe I just have shit luck. Living on the outskirts doesn’t help much, but this has been my experience over the past year:
Tinder: Hardly any matches, 90% of the profiles are totally blank. The few that are filled out say outright “no hookups.” Of the few matches I got, most were bots, the remainder dodged any attempts at meeting.
Skout: I had the most success with this app but it was still very spotty. Littered with trannies, most girls just wanted to “chat” and, similar to tinder, said 出会い求めていません. The ones who were looking for guys were either unattractive or had huge emotional baggage and were looking for relationships, not hookups. Most of the girls who sent me messages weren’t even in Japan. The vast majority of messages I sent went ignored. I did meet quite a few girls, though.
Japan-guide: No success whatsoever. It was pen-pal only, except for one batshit crazy clingy woman who wanted a date.
Japanese dating sites: 99% prostitutes.
I generally don’t go to pubs/bars because my alcohol intake is limited by a medical condition. Clubs would probably be easier if I could actually dance, but I’ve been to a couple (Club Atom is the only one I really remember) and the women-only seating was packed. The girls who didn’t come with guys all danced on the women-only dancing stages, either staying there the whole time or waiting to get called to a VIP area by some rich fatass. I’m not making any of this up. Friday night, was there from 11:30-02:30.
Every site I listed I have pulled from multiple times except Tinder as I have never used it personally, it came around after I got married. All the other ones, without going into specifics, multiply times. Some were so-so all the way to models. I wonder what you are doing to have such poor results.
Next I have been to a club once in Japan not counting work as a bouncer. I don’t go clubbing. So I have no advice there. But bars are easy and you don’t have to drink. Sip a club soda if your purpose is game then go game. Hit each bar for an hour. Get numbers. And get numbers from everyone not just the ones you are attracted to. I have met some stunning women because someone invited me to an event, party, gokon after I talked to them for 20 minutes at some bar or Izakaya. Two seperate times people have propositioned me to sleep with their WIVES after I met them. One guy I had a chat with on a train platform. I am not making this up.
Finally and I hope you don’t get bent out of shape but some guys have a bad attitude about their situation and this manifests itself socially. It’s unattractive. Nobody wants to hook up with the somber depressed guy. Be the fun guy with lots going on and that energy bleeds into your pick up.
NI – I’m way out of time here, but if you’re still around (and still interested), one word (well, actually 2 words): coffee shops.
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This guy is totally full of shit. The typical loser foreign white guy who claims to have gotten laid 3-5x a week locker room stories. I hear lots of d-bags bragging about what they did past tense with no proof to back up their false claims.