After ranting about Louis CK doing a “get off my lawn” bit, thought I’d do my own. One of the guys over on the Cracked site was going on and on about a Japanese anime called FLCL (pronounced as Fooly Cooly). He pumped it as his favorite movie and living in Japan I thought I might as well check it out … just for pure cultural reasons of course … and maybe some sweet, sweet Japanese WTF.

Pink Box
’cause this land is an express flight to WTF

Dear. God. Watching FLCL was like being strapped down and then repeatedly kicked in the face by some sort of burly, tentacled, anime god. Talk about sensory overload.

This movie is why Spinal Tap talks about noise boxes that have dials that go up to 11. Studies have shown that fast paced, fast edited scenes cause at least ADHD and at most seizures.

Well it’s a miracle that half way through this mini-series I wasn’t convulsing on the floor in a pile of vomit and blood. Don’t get me wrong I like anime, Perfect Blue (Which some claim is what Black Swan is based on) is one of my favorite movies and its opening sequence of merging frames had me in total absolute awe.

Unforgivably this one has no lesbian scene.

But FLCL was just too much. Is this how the kids are doing it these days? Is this what it takes to keep a teenager’s attention? During FLCL when things calmed down to the point I was able to concentrate on what was going on, I caught that some sort of plant was causing crazy things to happen to a small Japanese town and its residents. It was up to an elementary school student to solve just why strange forces were attacking his sleepy little hamlet through, admittedly, amusing adventures. But did it make up for being pressed against my seat by 10G strength of the blazing soundtrack and flashing lights? No.

So kids … Get the Hell off of my lawn.

If this wasn’t good enough for you, try these:

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