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I think I have made it pretty clear in various posts on this site that I have spent a lot of my time over the years Stealing. The first album I stole, from my best friends older brother who terrified me and who I saw having sex (I think) with my baby sitter in the park near the basketball courts at night, was Appetite for Destruction. This was an awesome album for a 10 year old to have but, I had to keep it hidden under my mattress so my mother wouldn’t find it, beat me, and then destroy it. The subterfuge wasn’t meant to last though because she did find it, beat me, and destroyed it.

I stole a lot of other shit over the years and my Mom beat me a lot too. Often one had no connection with the other, because I never got caught stealing. One thing I learned during the 90’s was that President Bush liked to kill Hajis and that I was good at stealing. When I actually stole my first King Crimson album, it was by accident. My parents kidnapped me and took me to Germany for the Second time and although I was not so pumped about this being kidnapped, again, I found that there is no better place to steal than on a US Army base over seas BUT if there was, it would be from the storage room of your next door neighbor. That is how I got a copy of King Crimsons Album “In the Court of the Crimson King”.

Since that dank dark afternoon that I went dashing out of the neighbors storage room, a bunch of dusty Records in my arms and a bar of tent poles over my shoulder, this album has constantly been in rotation, even when it wasnt.

Robert Fripp and Michael Giles started something in ’69 that would eventually change the face of Music. They did it without a lot (read:any) money and without acting like insincere douche bags as well. These are guys who didn’t come up dreaming of packing stadiums and “going platinum” or any of that shit. They just made good music, freaky good music.

I have had few friends over the years who liked King Crimson. The ones who did are the same cool, in tune bunch that have liked and shared great music like Demaude, The Ramones, The Velvet Underground and a lot of other very hip music that the people who were really into “The Foo fighters” or “Beck” didn’t get on board with. I remember in ’94 when “Loser” came out and every stupid baseball cap and polo shirt wearing Jock I knew was walking around humming it. I found that ironic as I had been called a loser because I made a cute girl I liked a lot a mix tape with the songs “Moonchild” and “Epitaph” on it, and she played it for her friends and they all told me that I was a “creepy gaylord loser” and that I liked “shitty old fucker music”.Then they all laughed a lot.  I still masturbate thinking about her, and their combined laughter.

I have since however, cut down on the making of mix tapes for women.

The funny thing is, now, thanks to wonderful engines for REVENGE such as FACEBOOK, I have been able to see that the only thing a lot of these girls “got into” after school was being date raped, knocked up and eating lots of Microwave pizza and buffet and then, which is hugely satisfying to me on many levels, marrying the now massive FAT balding jock who gave them the Roofies in the first place.

Not unlike a situation where you might have to drink your own Urine, It’s best served COLD: REVENGE.

If I had to recommend two songs to you, although I don’t want to because god knows what insults you will hurl at me, and then years later on FACEBOOK I will see you are dying of cancer and itll be your fault, I wont feel bad….but…if I HAD TO recommend two they would be the same ones I loved so many years ok and I gave to that ungrateful evil hooker who was in her prime at 16 and now weighs 200 pounds, on the mix tape: EPITAPH AND MOONCHILD.

Both are amazing.

Both are not Beck.

Both deserve attention.

Mix tapes still rock.

So does theft you get away with.

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