What type of Japanese girl are you?

Just take the 4 minutes and do the quiz, post your result in the comments or on your own blog or facebook or on your Christmas cards. You might be surprised. I was horrified yet oddly it made sense.

Click on the box below to take the test.


The possible types are….


High School Girl


Culturally held on high for no reason and Mentally fairly vapid, You are the Japanese High school Girl. You get up early in the morning and ignore your parents and after leaving home roll your skirt up to an absurd height causing you to constantly fiddle with it, and your school bag, in order to avoid having rabidly hung over Salary men look at your panties on the train or while going up stairs. Common sense is simply not a virtue that you possess. Your conversations with friends are centered around two primary things 1: Teachers you hate and 2: Boys you think are cool. The Possible third topic being other girls you hate or how cute your friends accessories are. You spend most of your waking hours in a zombie like state moving from one location to another. Home to school. School to club. Club to Jyuku (cram school). Jyuku to meet friends and then back home to ignore your parents. You like Karaoke. You lose your virginity to an older boy in a love hotel in Shibuya on a Thursday night.

The University girl

University girls

You have come a long way since High school. You are in University so you passed entrance exams and now its time to get serious..and PARTY! That’s right…Japanese university is a 4 year break from the torture and torment of your old High school life. No cram school or other B.S. You control your schedule and get to spend a lot of time with your friends. In addition, you are learning that in fact, you love having a good hump and experimenting with it (letting various men bone you senseless) is a new hobby. You have decided that you have some real tastes in music beyond what your friends told you to like and on occasion you say something that requires more worldly knowledge than “Yes, I’d like fries with that.” Although you are happy with your current life you’re beginning to worry about finding a job after graduation in a competitive work force where you will be hired, after 6 interviews, told to forget everything you learned in university and effectively taught how to be a subservient robot.

Cos play girl


Cos play girls

Although you live with your parents, are 23, have no immediate marriage prospects and don’t really like your menial job at Denny’s, you have lots of fun on the weekends dressing up in various costumes and heading with friends to Akihabara! That’s right the internationally well-known site for dorks, nerds and techno dweebs to gather and bask in each others worthlessness. You have it all….and have spent a fair amount of your pay checks from the family restaurant obtaining it: Maid costumes, Lolita gear, Injured flight attendant, various Manga characters, a nurse, and finally something resembling a dominatrix. You are known at conventions and immerse yourself fully in this silly world trying to forget that the clock is ticking and your parents have already written you off. Fantasy is the fanfare and you are lost in its sauce.  You get knocked up by some slightly obese 29 year old wearing a Captain Jack Sparrow outfit one drunk Sunday afternoon at a comic convention.

The Shibuya Girl

You might get that assistant manager position at the clothing boutique you work at in Omotesando and you NEED it because this weekend your going to be shopping in Shibuya (again) with your friends at 109 and your credit cards (and your boyfriends) are already nearly maxed out! Trendy and funky you are a Shibuya Girl. You fell in love with this place back in high school when the older boy who knows your brother popped your cherry in a cheap love hotel and then came all over your panties which he then, subsequently stole. Ever since then your connected to this place and can’t get enough. Karaoke, drinking, shopping and just bumming around with your HORDE of 100s of equally consumer obsessed friends is what makes you happy. Marriage is likely not far off despite the recent bout of the clap since you never use condoms and one of your boyfriends is probably going to, or already has knocked you up. Kids are “KAWAIIIII” though so you’re not too worried.

The OL (Office Lady)

Japanese Office Lady

You graduated from university….you persevered during the arduous interviews and corporate indoctrination and now you are an O.L.! Good work. The first year wasn’t so hot as you spent almost all your time making copies and serving coffee and bowing. However a few years have gone by and you have slowly climbed the steps within your company and now, you don’t make copies or serve coffee. You answer the phone for your boss and you berate and order around new people when they make the coffee wrong. You are shopping in Ometesando and Ginza (on credit) and have left Shibuya largely behind. You have started traveling and enjoyed Bali, where a young native boy you hired as a guide gave you the best shagging of your life and asked you to marry him and bring him to Japan. You are now engaged to “Keisuke”, a man you met at a drinking party but you dislike that he goes to see hookers every week. He has a good job though and you look great together. You might visit Bali again this Spring.

The English Student

English student

You did it! You passed the level 4 test at your English Conversation school! Congrats….now whats next? The T.o.i.e.c.? Your last score of 300 was not too impressive especially considering you’ve taken that test 7 times. Your job is good and stable but boring as hell and your principal hobbies that keep you sane are drinking and studying English. You go to a conversation school and have a private teacher (who is KAKKOIIII!) and most of your friends these days are either former teachers, current teachers or fellow classmates. You have learned that romantically you prefer foreigners because they are “kind” and they “listen to you.” They also compliment you much more than your Japanese ex-husband. For some reason you can’t seem to land that perfect foreign boyfriend but you aren’t giving up, in fact your going to study English EVEN MORE! Surely he is just around the corner.

The Hostess

University just did not interest you but money did so it seemed logical and easy: Become a Hostess.
You are one of the night workers who for around 30 or 40 bucks an hour gets to sit around looking pretty and pouring drinks with men who are willing to shell out the dough for your professionally charming company. Your club is in Kabukichou, or Ueno, or Ginza, and you know the area like the back of your hand. Your hair is….ridiculous and you have nails that resemble a hawks talons bedazzled with glitter and fake emeralds. Your health is declining due to the fact that you spend your nights drinking heavily and sitting on your butt. You have some hobbies that you are obsessive about because you can afford to be: Nail art. Shopping. Travel (you just got back from Turkey) and of course s*x. Your boyfriend is a Host at a club not far from yours in Kabukichou and his hair is Feathered and beautiful and you like his effeminate metro s$xual vibe so much you aren’t shagging his best friend that much anymore. Your life is sad. (You began your adventures as a Shibuya girl but performed the cross over to Hostess effortlessly once your turned 25.)

The Sports girl

Japanese Sports girl

You can bench press your own weight, do vertical leaps like superwoman, and drink like a “Salary man”. That’s right, you’re a Japanese Sports girl. Ever since Elementary school you have been good at sports and quickly you were relegated to that group; Sport girl group. Nobody ever calls you cute although you are and once you continued with sports into high school, when a lot of your girlfriends stopped the deal was done; Sports girl 4-eva. You studied sports in university and want to be a PE teacher in Junior high school. Your boyfriend is also a PE teacher and on the weekends you enjoy working out together, drinking and engaging in insane animal-like-love-making as you have a massive appetite for it that has plagued you your entire life. You love Japan, are fairly right-wing and although you don’t speak English you have a crush on the English Teacher at the school you work at simply because he’s physically bigger than you.

The Unattainable Dream Woman

Since you were 2 you have been the cutest girl in every group, club or class you have ever been associated with. You got good grades but aren’t sure why because you didn’t really study. You went to a fairly well-known university and studied Japanese language but didn’t need to and don’t remember a single thing. Every man who meets you is excessively nice to you and many men buy you gifts because “Hey, its Thursday!” You are the Unattainable Dream Woman and you know it. Everything you have has come to you because you are gorgeous. You are the Woman that men start wars over. You love s%x but only engage in it with equally attractive super studs or amazingly rich men that all look like they just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren catalog. You are the top 2% that this whole system in Japan is designed to support. You are the royalty in a culture obsessed with all the virtues that came easily to you: Insane good looks, Charisma, Seeex appeal, confidence and style. Everyone hates you.  Everyone wants to be with you or possess you.



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