Let the Laughs begin.
Bob Saget- Don’t Fuck a goat
From “Full House” to “America’s Funniest home videos”, I love where this has gone. The fact that BOB SAGET was attached to, in fact the face of, two of America’s most notoriously family oriented shows is pure golden irony. I love it.
Bill Burr- On being a Mother
Bill Burr has been doing stand up for a long time, but it seems he’s just starting to break through to the next level. I hope he does too. He doesn’t pander to traditional easy audiences i.e. Women, and his genuine, almost visible angst on stage is visceral and awesome. His pod cast is totally worth listening too as well.
Louis CK – Pig newtons
Louis CK is my favorite comedian. Not simply for his stand up but also for his views and opinions in interviews regarding everything from capitalism, kids and marriage to whether or not Dick Cheney is actually a lizard in a skin suit. He has forged his own path and now is fully in the lime light, for how long, nobody knows but this is a funny, hard-working man. His new stand up special is pants shitting funny and is only 5 dollars to download. FIVE DOLLARS. This is possible because he paid for the production himself and has sold it entirely independently simply because he dislikes the current system that is set up just to rip off fans. Awesome stuff and a very worthwhile five to spend.
The clip below is from a previous show and is classic Louis.
Jim Jefferies- God is for idiots
Maybe it’s the Aussie accent, but this man has a magical way of pissing off Americans. The bit about religion being for dummies and those dummies heavily being Americans is almost a worn out cliché amongst British comedians. It’s so easy it’s a low blow. However, Jim Jefferies somehow brings it back to life. He’s also become well-known for being able to make people in the audience so angry they actually give him free face punches.
Natasha Leggero- Toilet Babies
Natasha Leggero presses my buttons, and by that I mean my sexy time ones. I can’t put my finger on it. I think though, it’s a combination of her generally lazy way of speaking combined with her being hilarious. Her being pretty hot does not hurt either. Leggero has launched a one woman war on conventionally accepted absurdities, Hip Hop “culture” and Jerry Springer’s entire target audience.
Andrew Dice Clay- Anti Gay Rant
Andrew Dice Clay is a legend because he’s a shit-bag. It’s that simple. He also happens to be an incredibly prolific comic, or rather he was in his time. As of late he’s been too busy trying to get in fights with one testicled former “it” men. This bit falls in line with the entire politically incorrect movement I am a member of. Do I actually dislike homosexuals? Not as a group, no. Do I think as a group they are absolutely fucking ridiculous? Oh yeah, but no more than red necks that love NASCAR or the concept of PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL. Really? You’re a professional at bouncing a ball and our society applauds this. That ladies and gentleman is why they hate us…now on to Andrew Dice Clay.
Sarah Silverman- Martin Luther King
This Jew Broad has single handedly pissed off a vast amount of people. What’s left to say about Silverman? She’s been called a hack, an unfunny whore, a Jew…add explicative. If you can come up with it someone has said it about her, yet still she stands.
Her absolute refusal to apologize or make excuses for her jokes is probably the thing that makes her so loved/hated.
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In recent years I listen to Mitch Hedberg and Dave Attell mostly. Been meaning to listen to more Emo Phillips, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. When it comes to comedy I am the type that laughs at really gorey roadkill.
Mitch Hedberg was OK. Too bad he’s dead. I listen to lots and lots of comedy. Too much to list really. This was just the offensive routines that sprang to mind that I love.
I used to listen to comedians with more grit and subject to their material. Clay, Kinison, Leary, and Carlin. Lately I just wanna veg out and hear some weird little random funny thought. Hence the Attell (offensive), Hedberg, and Phillips. Surprised you didn’t get a good Richard Pryor, Leary, Carlin, or Kinison bit posted. Clay is one of the big ones when it comes to offensive, really known for his sexism.
Man, Carlin puts me to sleep. I just feel like I am listening to him read an essay he has written with some jokes in it. Leary, I like but the bottom line is that he has ripped off SO much material from SO many comics, and after seeing clearly where he’s done it over and over it’s sort of a turn off. Also, he hasn’t done anything even remotely funny in a long time. Pryor is awesome, but I don’t really find him offensive. Perhaps some of the language he used might be thought offensive now, but I think aggressive is a better word for him. I thought about putting up some British comedians, but, their actual stand BITS aren’t the offensive part but rather how they deal with hecklers. Masterful and totally offensive.
Good point on Pryor. As for rip off artists the biggest right now seems to be Dane Cook. He doesn’t even right most of his material. Still some of his stuff gets a laugh out of me. Jokes referencing Super Mario Brothers are always good. One of my fave Carlin bits was from a movie, the one where he would take a shot in the mouth for a ride…that entire hitch hiking bit in that Kevin Smith movie. That movie wasn’t the greatest but that bit was funny. Bob Saget is really crazy with his stand up. Robin Williams did all those nice guy films and some of his stand up was really out there for a typecast niceguy. No comparison to Bob Saget though.
If you have a good Carlin bit from Youtube put the vid in the comments. I have watched a fair amount of his stuff because he was so prolific and respected, but he never got me going. Also, Bill Maher is good and he can piss some people off. Just for laughs Ill have to include this…
Not really a standup bit. Still I was babling about it.
Oh please watch the Celebrity Roast of Flava Flav..please 🙂
“Your so black you look like Edi Amin after a 3 day crack binge on the sun”!!
Haha I’ve watched it before. It was good. There was a great crack in there about Flava Flav being older than slavery.
Your so old the first thing you bought with your record money was your freedom
That comedian died last year. Funny folks besides George Carlin got shorter life spans than rock stars.
Haha…that is some funny shit. Yeah Carlin died, Patrice O’neil died. Tough times for comedy.
Jesus is Magic is absolutely one my favorite things to watch when I gotta turn that frown upside down.
Henry Rollins is also a fave of mine too.
In my mind I’ve never been able to allow Rollins to be anything other than the lead singer of black flag, or maybe that gritty tough guy on his spoken word album.
Conan O’Brien saves Louis CK’s life
why do black men like women with big arses?
cos they need something to hide behind when the landlord comes for rent!
thats all america needs! another nigger asking for change!
live next door to a doctor from pakistan… he sez im a better man than you!
i said.. never said you werent! why do you think so?
i dont av a paki living next to me!
how does a gay man fuck a woman?
he shits in er cunt!
wot do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
lick a lotta puss!
Charming, and very cosmopolitan.
A bit of the oldschool troll. Pre-intellegence I would say. Definately before humanity realised we all bleed the same, and if anything is inferior, it is the pathetic, limp, white man.
If anything, the appearance of this lowly troll means that your site is getting bigger, in the skeem of things. Still, I wish this sort of thing wasn’t a necessary requirement for Fame and greatness. God I am drunk.
Don’t give it a name, that gives it power. Ignore it, the histrionic F^@% seeks attention. I have found that if you ignore the histrionic, they will sleep with you. Then you just chuck the condem in their face and ignore them till they put out again.
Potzo..haha…this is one of your most prolific comments to date. You are like the junk yard dog of Gaijinass.com!
It is not me. It is the liqour talking. Why the hell does everyone like me better drunk? Even if I try to make them regret giving me alcohol/
Yeah I am calling this troll a whore. Its just a hole in the mattress. Cram its mouth with DNA so it can’t speak.
my brother is a policeman in london. he told me, he arrested a blackman yesterday for posession.. . … of thick lips and black curly hair
i said is that all?
he goes .. no..he was carrying a ghetto blaster in a built up area and walking on cracks in the pavement
i ask whats his name?
he sez Winston kodogo.. from Arcacia Avenue, Brixton
i love me bruv… cuntstable savage!
I am sensing…a theme of sorts. But wait, totally different names and e-mail addresses. If only there was some other way for us to know if the same person was posti…oh. There is.
Grand wizard…wow thats an obvious Klan title. Oh god this boob knows how to use the internet. Oh well, if it can speak freely, then their deaths were not in vane and democracy prevails. Tolerate the itchy, hemroidal bung so that we might know the great, enlightening joys of freedom. Some true warrior somewhere took a bullet and left his children fatherless so this genius could go tourrets syndrome all over this blog.
can’t spell…too much vodka…
i got a friend, who works in a girls school… his mum goes into a sex shop the other day, and asks for a dildo
clerk brings out a purple one
she goes i want something bigger
so he shows the 14 inch black one
shes still not happy… points to a tartan coloured one on shelf.. and asks if she can buy that
clerk sez.. you cant av that! its me tea flask!
potzo comments.. interesting.. like watching paint dry!!!
Oh shit. The game is afoot.
I will mung your grandmother… http://www.urbandictionary.com if you don’t know the glory of a good munging.
As for watching paint dry, that’s a blast. Here is my recipe for it. 1/3rd coffee liqour, 1/3 irish cream liqour, 1/3rd coffee as black as you can make it.
I learned this recipe from a bartender friend of mine. It makes all manual labor go by like a coked up cheerleader. Even watched a kid get crushed under a dryer, couldn’t move to help him, just kept screaming (in my head) “quick somebody, anybody, that kid is going to get smashed under the weight of that appliance.” Then I heard someone say “what the fuck is wrong with him?” and a familiar voice reply, “He just gets that way.”
$h!t, when the he!! did this happen…god 8 years ago at least.
Anyway this recipe works best if you don’t change the coffeee filter till the machine quits working. TYhe white mold just gives each cup extra kick. One pot per person to get best effect.
HEY NOW! Don’t go bringing Jesus into this, he was an honest man.
I can’t feel my face. I have been hitting the white russians a bit. F you though cause I have good reason. I got some sort of weird proposition today from someone I respect and trust.
Had to get drunk to wrap my mind around it. Wrote a drunk blog and still can’t put all the peices together. Man its just to much to handle when the normal grounding rocks in my life want to do f’d things.
Not even sure I can do these things to a good clean normal person and maintain any sanity. Gonna make another white russian. This is ghonna put my alcohol resserves dangerously low. Yeah I ain’t normal, but having the grounding normal influences in my life request this kind of $h!t…WTF!?!?
its so hard to not do what i want…
why do i gotta have the crazy unfun weird awkward CREEPY abnormal $h!t in all things? Is my destiny so tainted that I can’t know one single simple normal innocent joy? does everything have to be so corrupting and sick and filthy ….
Thank god for this troll…showed up at just the right time…
keep waffling.. ur hair might grow back eventually! fukushima volunteer!
didnt know vodka was hair stripper!
not saying potzos mum is fat… but when i had done fucking er last nite, i rolled over twice and i was still on top!
Jesus! Jesus! DOUBLE JESUS!
hey ouch man… OUCH…I hate to tell you this , but you just laid some random fat chick. Hey at least all that flesh made it feel like an orgy.
See my mom is skinny as hell. She has huge saggy boobs. A grating voice, and wrinkly as all hell. She had her uterous removed, so her hormones are all off balance. When the light catches her just so, you can see her full beard. Yeah its all clear hairs so you have to wait till the light hits that sweet spot.
If your done with the fat chicks and feel like some necrophilia then go for my mom. She ain’t dead but she sure looks it. She likes to bug her eyes out alot. You can see all the veracos veins like a road map, and she can mold her skin into shapes, and it stays for a few minutes. Great for a laugh at restaurants.
not a survivor of the holocaust!
wot zee germans call … the good olde days!
Hey I am a fan of anorexics. Those holocaust victims really get me going. Apology accepted. Remember with true occult knowledge….to gain that true edge and understanding, as I have said before elsewhere (through real understanding and study) you have to sleep with your mother’s corpse.
they say theres safety in numbers!
try telling that to 6 million jews!
it was nothitler hat d them. It was APATHY. In each instance where the Jew fought back, there was terror beyond belief, in even the SS, the Jew was an acceptional fighter and could drive the spike of terror into the Nazi’s core….When Apathy was set aside at least.
people say dolphins are intelligent!
yeah… but only when you compare em with the retarded kids they re swimming with!
As our pollution of the seas increases to new levels, the number of dolphin attacks on man reaches new heights. The elaphant has began trampling villiages in India in retaliation. Research the Humbolt squid. We are not the smartest beings on Earth, and we are begining to anoy those beyond us.
if men fall asleep directly after sex…. why is it so difficult to catch a rapist?
No tts the reason that traditionally everyone else has wanted kids.
“thats” not “tts” … typing to fast for slow net connection. Also, this was a reply to the kids comment, but for some reason it is floating off on its own like a snickers bar in a public pool.
….of course the really talented, funny people of this world, post clips of comedians…. making people laff! cos thats what funny people do!
then they chat with their mates from the chemo ward, about the relative merits of this comedian versus that… like theyre some authority on whats funny… indirectly inferring that they are funny, cos of cut n paste skills
… cos funny people are funny, in direct correlation to the number of stand up clips they post!
Most American’s consider Dane Cooke one of the funniest people alive (Sadly), and he just tells the jokes other people write. Therefore, posting clips on the net has a larger potential audience and may very well be what funny is. You have made a very good point. It isn’t what the spirit of the post was, but makes sense.
So, it’s more funny to watch youtube clips, then TYPE out the jokes you just listened to, then passing them off as your own and giving no credit to the person who wrote the stupid, lame, racist joke? Genius. Your grasp on the internet moral code is astounding. And obviously, you most have tomes of original written material laying around your palace correct? I would love, dearly, to read some of this golden literature so I could possibly, oh just maybe, bath in the splendor which is your sublime skills of composition, if only once, before I leave this lonely Earth.
“…or the concept of PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL. Really? You’re a professional at bouncing a ball…”
“I love stand up comedy and I really think it’s a very complex and difficult thing to do and be good at. If you are sitting at home watching these clips thinking “Oh, I could do that. Just stand up and tell jokes.“ Then you’re a buffoon, and I’d like to punt you in the genitals. You are likely the same type of skid mark that sits on the couch eating Doritos, watching UFC, mumbling “I could kick this guys ass” as you polish off a six-pack of cherry coke.”
Lawl. Kettle sez ‘sup.