Season Two of Walking Dead is over and once again I regret watching a series that hasn’t finished or been cancelled, as now I have to wait till FALL!! FALL 2012 before I find out what happens next.

For those living under a rock Walking Dead is a TV drama following a group of survivors as they trudge through the Zombie Apocalypse. I’ve talked before about the appeal of living through an Apocalypse (Read: I want the “big” earthquake to hit) and Zombie Apocalypse is probably one of the best two Apocalypses to live through losing only to some sort of plague event. These two end of the world scenarios trump nuclear winter, or an asteroid hit because our lives’ amenities are left relatively intact … you know besides those pesky zombies or bacteria death zones.

Walking Dead takes up after a slow zombie (Compared to fast zombies like in 28 Days Later) infection has overrun the world, or at least the East Coast of America. According to zombie fan boys this is possible because our modern military is defenseless against the zombie hordes due to modern warfare’s dependence on shock and awe, both of which are ignored by the mindless zombie and are thus rendered useless.  The military is just over run like Katrina over ran NOLA.

In the slow zombie universe you can survive by following basic rules, wonderfully spelled out in 2009’s Zombieland:


If you can’t watch that clip the rules mentioned are beware of bathrooms (enclosed spaces, one exit), always double tap a zombie, wear a seatbelt and most important, maintain good CARDIO! Slow zombies can be outrun which was proven again and again in the TV show Walking Dead. But watching Walking Dead I’ve created my own rules and successful strategies. First of all in addition to cardio there should be:

1- Stick together! Haven’t people watched Scream? Those that get separated, get eaten.
2- Fortify! When the ancient Roman armies used to camp every night they would create a temporary fort to protect against barbarian hordes, same rules apply to zombie hordes. The first thing they should have done after arriving at the farm was erect either a log wall around the farmhouse or some sort of secure fence perimeter.
3 – Get a Sword or crossbow!  Guns only last so long so adopt phalanx fighting abilities. This was just touched on in the series but behind a good defensive barrier all one would need to do is create a hole small enough for a zombie to stick his head through and then the defenders cut it off. Next mindless zombie sticks his head through repeat step A. In walking dead Shane was doing this in the bus and given time he would have defeated that small group of zombies.  But when you are mobile you can’t always have a good fortification so in typical phalanx fighting style create your own fort via raised shields. In the zombie universe this could be achieved by wearing and using riot police gear combined with makeshift spears or swords. A team of 10 dressed in riot gear (even football padding would work) and armed with swords or pikes would be zombie killing machines.

4- Finally, Get Zombie Camouflage!   They did this, kind of, in season one to get out of the city but a much better example is one of the last images in the series finale:

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