A few weeks ago I was talking about, what I think, is viral marketing for the new Jurassic Park Movie. Well it looks like those clever marketing geniuses are at it again. I started noticing these pictures across social media a few days ago.

Viral Marketing Spotted this winner on the street in NYC

Viral Marketing The neighbors take game night pretty seriously

Viral Marketing Porshe

Well turns out the vandalized cars are part of a publicity stunt for a new Bravo TV Show, Girlfriends’ Guide To Divorce

Debuting December 2 and stars former House star Lisa Edelstein. Because hey, everyone needs a little help going through this event in their lives. And so we have the Bravo TV show.

To call attention to this advice-for-free slice of entertainment, creative agency Omelet cooked up a stunt that basically either paints the man as a sport-car-loving, insensitive doofus or the woman as a vindictive, spiteful vandal. … The cars have been emblazoned with statements written by seemingly scorned women and include, “Leaving You,” “You Suck” and “We Are Over.” The campaign is tagged #GG2D and has received a bit of play on Twitter and Instagram.

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Three women from three shows all stereotypical inhabit that mythical land where they are not too crazy to function but are crazy enough to utilize their manic abilities that their disorders give them. On the left is Carrie Mathison from Homeland. A CIA agent she is able to tap her bipolar disorder in an order to obsess about whatever case she is working on. In the center is Sarah Linden from The Killing who the show tries to imply that she has something like obsessive compulsive disorder and gets too wrapped up in her cases. To the right is detective Sonya Cross from The Bridge. Detective Cross has some form of Autism and uses her rainman like focus to attack a case while ignoring every social convention around her.

TV Tropes calls this type of cliche No Social Skills with an Ambiguous Disorder. Whatever they are, the quirks make the characters the perfect detectives. It’s not a new concept and I’m sure real police officers get tired of the comparisons and the implication might have mental disorders themselves. Yet all three shows are gripping and easy to binge as each episode ends with cliff hanger. Why are the stories so good? Well a big part is that they’re tried and true hits from other countries. Homeland is based on the Israeli thriller Kidnapped or “Hatufim”. The Killing is based on the Danish Forbrydelsen, while The Bridge is based on Swedish/Danish drama Bron/Broen. All three were transferred to a western setting without upsetting what makes them great.

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Tokyo Drifts from Seafood to Meat Eating

On the West Coast of America a labor dispute with the port workers has meant there has been a potato shortage over here in Japan. Not enough spuds are making their way across the Pacific. For a while MacDonalds ran out and then only would sell small orders of French Fries. Meanwhile KFC has discontinued offering french fries until its potato supply issue can be fixed. The shortage just goes to show how globalized Japan’s food industry is. A labor issue in Western America turns off the French Fries all the way over the ocean to Japan. The “potato crisis” brings to memory the great Toilet Paper Crisis of ’73.

Japan imports most of its food. Yet the “shortage” is a little deceiving, sure you can’t get a large French Fries at Macdonalds but there are still potatoes in the supermarket, just not the cheap mass produced kind that Macdonalds needs to profitably sell to you a side of French Fries. Take Japan’s most important food, rice. In order to comply with World Trade Organization rules Japan has to import a certain amount of rice. It dutifully imports X amount of tons but doesn’t hand them over for consumption.

Instead the imported rice is sent as food aid to North Korea, added to beer and rice cakes, or mixed with other grains to feed pigs and chickens. Or it just sits in storage for years. — Bloomberg

People talk about how screwed Japan would be if it couldn’t import food but Japan imports so much because it eats a western style diet and wastes an incredible amount of that. Japan won’t starve if it can’t import, its people just won’t be able to eat at the level they do now. Miso soup anyone?

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Ecchi (エッチetchi?, pronounced [et.tɕi]) is an often used slang term in the Japanese language for lewd or lascivious conduct.

 

“So, how many then?”

“Over 300.”

“Really?” I took a sip of my whiskey. “Over a span of…?”

“5 years.  I have it all recorded, on a spread sheet.  You have to record it all.”

“Jesus, that’s alot, man.”

“Japanese girls, man. Sex. They are fuckin’ obsessed with it.”

I have a theory and it is nothing more than a theory.  It’s based on personal experience and on things I have  seen and heard about. I am a fairly observant person and I pick up on the things behind what people are saying.  I think about these hints and clues and I often wonder what they mean.

Returning to my theory, it is as follows:  If we could some how sit down a random selection of foreign men in Japan and then subsequently pump them all full of a suitable amount of Sodium Amytal and then we asked them clearly “During the first 25% of your tenure in Japan, what was your primary motivation for sticking it out?”  The over arching theme, I am guessing, would be simply SEX.

It is everywhere all the time and the concept that nearly HALF the female population has “zero interest in it” is laughably absurd.

Sexless Japan?

Everyone has read the reports and heard the statistics: The Japanese are not having sex and the birthrate is plummeting.  The younger generations are celibate and they have lost interest in intercourse, relationships and sex in general.

Half the country just stopped getting-it-on.

Or did they?

Viva-La-Prostitution

Prostitution is rampant in Japan.  It is simply everywhere.  Street workers, clubs, “Compensated dating”, pro-escorts, “delivery health” (Domi-hoes, anyone?) and etc.  It is incredibly accessible and is a huge business.  The image is different from in other countries as well.  To many Japanese it is viewed almost as some sort of “Necessary Evil”.  Many Japanese women (many, by no means all and I have no stats on this) have said as long as her man keeps it hush-hush a trip to a love hotel with a hooker is preferable to him dating a woman on the side.  In fact, in some families, this money is allotted by the wives (who traditionally manage family expenses) and given out to the husbands monthly; “don’t ask don’t tell” what this extra 25,000 yen is for.

The numbers do not lie either.

sextradenumbers

As we can see above Japan moves 24 BILLION DOLLARS a year around in prostitution money.  That’s a lot. It’s even more when we take a moment and carefully look at these numbers in context.  The population of Japan, everyone (mommies, kids, grandaddies, angry salary men, your girlfriend etc) is about 127,650,000 people.  That means, based on these numbers, last year everyone one in Japan, everyone, could have spent about 188 dollars on hookers.

China however, although having spent 73 billion on the sex trade has a population of 1,393,783,836 meaning every single person in the country only had about 52 dollars to spend on some ass.

Now, some of you are jumping to conclusions. “But, in China it would be so much cheaper, just like everything else, including human life.”

But would it, really?

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In Shanghai an hour with a woman of the night will cost you around 360 USD. Tokyo? 160 USD. What’s more, I know that four blocks from where I am writing this a man can wander into a shop and have inter-course with a woman for less than 100USD; not in an alley full of dirty needles but in a “clean” love hotel. And that is the point:

The population is smaller with an economy allegedly in a recession yet someone, some how is spending nearly DOUBLE what the entire United States does, with a population twice the size and prices twice as high, on sex.  That’s big business and that’s big sex.  That is really a lot of sex with prostitutes, Japan.

pikachu

Enter the Porno

Shimiken is the Bruce Lee of Japanese pornography.  Details magazine did a piece on him worth reading if you like feeling soiled.

Although the motivations and life style of some guy who makes sex videos does not interest me much, the numbers in the industry matter if anyone is going to spout things such as “The Japanese have lost interest in sex.”

Because, have they, even?

shimiken-stats-enlarged

As we see in this KAWAII!!!! infographic, the “average” Japanese consumer spent 157 USD per year on porn.  That is TRIPLE what the average American consumer spends.  Now, a high-class thought experiment:  Are these people buying porno to collect it and let it age aesthetically hoping to slowly appreciate it with snooty friends decades from now? Or, are they buying this material so they can take it home and furiously jack-off to it?

I’m no Noam Chomsky, but I am leaning more toward “furiously jack-off to it”.

chomsky2_rect1

The Orgasmic Conclusion

Despite the epidemic of “sexless” marriages and the plunging birthrate the data is clear.  The Japanese have not “lost interest in sex” and they have not become “celibate”.  They have, likely for a combination of nebulous culture reasons, gradually decided to engage in sexual escapades outside of the “conventional” borders of a “romantic relationship.”  This likely goes for men as well as women.

Sex is not broken here, but the traditional Japanese relationship dynamic might be.

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I’m something of an addict on Reddit. I enjoy the community and find it as a good place to check the pulse of popular culture in North America while living in the Land of The Rising Sun. A frequent observer in the /r/pics subreddit I try to check it everyday as it’s a good place to find article ideas. For the last year now I’ve been noticing something strange … well what I felt was strange,  Jurassic Park cars.

I get that  the 1993 Jurassic Park release was a huge movie and it ignited the imagination of millions of kids who are now adults. The logo is of course iconic but the cars in the movie? Really? Back To The Future, now that I understand. The DeLorean is not only a collectors car but it was the main plot device in the blockbuster Trilogy.

Back to the Future Delorean Time Machine s
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The Jurassic cars though were just props, not much more than specially painted vehicles.  Check out these posts on Reddit:

WITH A RAPTOR YOU GUYS submitted 2 years ago by Waaaghette
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Spotted a Jurassic park car on the freeway – submitted 1 year ago by sodiem

GRt257z

As a Jurassic Park nerd – submitted 2 years ago by KONY_The_Tiger

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Jurassic Park Jeep seen outside of Ikea – submitted 9 months ago by CandySlawws

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The boyfriend and I found a Jurassic Park car – submitted 1 year ago by hannathewise

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Saw the Jurassic Park Jeep – submitted 1 year ago by djSlapNuts

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I too have seen the jurassic park jeep – submitted 1 year ago by TBA-SOON

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Saw this cool Jurassic Park jeep submitted 1 month ago by CarbonTorrent

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These are just the ones that have “Jurassic Park” in the title making them easy to find. I’m sure there are endless others. So why so suspicious? Well what is coming up summer of 2015? Why the new Jurassic movie:

I’m thinking, starting a year ago, some viral marketing company had the brilliant idea of making a couple mock ups and just driving them around certain parts of America knowing that people would take pictures of them, post them on social media and create a buzz. Insidious but ingenious.


Update

He’s real! Life, finds a way… submitted Feb 6 2015 by FrostyPoo

He's real! Life, finds a way...

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The murky waters that cover most of our globe have always fascinated mankind. What lies under the surface hidden from view? Drought conditions, the advent of scuba diving, improvement of sonar technology has allowed us to peer into these watery depths. In Houston alone there are underwater car lots where cars have crashed, been abandoned and forgotten. Now with droughts causing water levels to drop, more and more cars are being discovered. Not only cars but cars with bodies still at the wheel, cold cases that have been unsolved for decades.

 Rudi-Rupp-Mordfall

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 10 – Not fed to the dogs

In 2005 German prosecutors presented to the court that Rudolf Rupp’s wife, children and a family friend killed Rudolf, hacked up his body and fed it to their dogs. Under intense police pressure the family confessed and pleaded guilty, that was until March of 2009 when a Mercedes that had tumbled down an embankment and into the river Danube was recovered. Inside was the still intact body of Rudolf Rupp, the family recanted their confessions and were given a new trial.

 77 Sunset Strip

9 – Gangster in the river 

Louis Emery Roger was a real “Acadiana character.” Connected with local organized crime Roger was said to control all known illicit activities in an area then known as the “77 Sunset strip”. For 25-years his disappearance was the source of myth and legend, that was until the discovery of a wrecked Cadillac that was pulled from the Vermilion River near Lafayette, Louisiana in 2008. The car was discovered after another car crashed into the river and by chance landed on top of the caddy. Police investigation determined that on October 25, 1983 an elderly Roger failed to make a turn and slammed into the river, much like the car that 25 years later that would lead to the discovery of Roger’s car-entombed body.

punta-gorda-florida-photo

8 – Pulled from a canal

Police discovered a Buick Station Wagon in a quiet residential, Punta Gorda, canal in Eastern Florida. Inside were the remains of Frances Hendrickson and her purse with laminated ID inside. The car had sat silently at the bottom of the canal for 20-years. Last seen on July 1 Frances Hendrickson was leaving to go shopping in her Buick with the vanity plates “SNO BURD”. Initial police investigation point to Hendrickson taking a wrong turn and crashing her car into the water, and drowning. The police say that without any witnesses to the crash the car slowly sank and sat at the bottom of the canal until new sonar technology discovered it.

88_year_old_missing_Delano_man_found_in__938640002_954609_ver1.0_640_480

7 – Delano man found dead in trunk of submerged car

In September of 2013 a car was pulled from the Friant Kern canal, east of Delano, California. Inside the trunk was the body of 88-year-old beloved community barber, John Holguin Espinoza. Police were baffled at who would murder a pillar of the community and it took almost a year before they were able to arrest John Albay Galafate who was renting an apartment from Espinoza. Galafate and Espinoza had argued over unpaid rent before Galafate beat, strangled and tied up Espinoza. Further investigation would reveal that the 88-year old’s blood was found in Galafate’s apartment. After tying up the old man Galafate drove him in the trunk of his own car and dumped the car in the Friant Kern canal.

 1024px-Map_of_Florida_highlighting_Hillsborough_County.svg

6 –  Lake Carlton Arms apartment complex’s drunken driver

In november of 1993 in Hillsborough County, Florida an intoxicated Ryan Carl Kresin drove his 1987 Cadillac off to get more booze. After being denied a sale by an alarmed clerk, Kresin drove off never to be seen again. Finally in 2006 a car was spotted and fished out of a pond at the Lake Carlton Arms apartment not far from where Kresin lived. Dental records weren’t conclusive but DNA was able to prove that the remains found in the Cadillac were in fact Ryan Carl Kresin. Don’t drink and drive.

 article-0-1D331DE400000578-310_634x337

5 – Woman pulled from Texas Lake

In 2014 a passer-by came upon the partially exposed 1970s-model Chevy truck in Lake Granbury, North Texas. The lake’s water level has dropped dramatically due to an ongoing drought. Remains were discovered as well as the purse and ID of Helen Holladay. She had been missing almost 35 years ago after a domestic dispute between her and her husband. At the time her vanishing off the face of the earth was deemed suspicious. When she went missing in September 1979 Holladay was 45 years old. Her husband was investigated in her disappearance but was never charged, he died a few years later.

missing-teens-car-found-36-years

4 – 1978 Missing Teens

In October 7, 1978 two teens, Harry “Wade” Atchison, 19, and Dana Null, 15, were last seen driving away from a house party. That was the last anyone saw of them until 2015 when the car they went missing in, an orange 1969 Dodge Coronet, was discovered in the Sunrise canal, just north of State Road 84 in Florida. Further searches revealed human remains close to the submerged car. Dredgers working for South Florida Management found the car and notified police.

Skaha_Lake

3 – Canadian lake gives up 38-year-old mystery

In November of 1972 20-year-old Betty Thomas was last seen driving home before she seemingly disappeared leaving behind a husband and an 18-month-old son. Then in 2010 as part of a cleanup program in Skaha Lake, located about 250 kilometres east of Vancouver, a early 1960’s model Chrysler New Yorker was pulled from the water. Inside horrified cleanup workers found human remains. A laminated ID found in the vehicle identified the body as Betty Thomas. It appears that Betty lost control of her car and drove off a cliff 100 metres into the lake where the car remained for 38 years waiting for someone anyone to come and get her.

517946071_3_o

2 – Four decade mystery of missing South Dakota women solved

A drought in South Dakota lowered the water levels enough so that a long submerged car that had flipped over was observed by a passing farmer. Pulling the 1960 Studebaker from the muck they discovered inside the remains of two girls with even their clothing remarkably still in tact. The two girls had disappeared without a trace in 1971. A convicted rapist who is presently in jail was originally thought to be responsible but after a lack of evidence the case was dropped. Only in 2013 when the car was discovered and DNA confirmed was the case closed, with the bodies being identified as the missing girls, Cheryl Miller and Pamela Jackson.

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1 – Two cars on top of each other

In September of 2013 Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers were doing a sonar training exercise for finding submerged cars. While scouring the water they came across two decades old vehicles that had somehow landed on top of each other. After almost a year of investigation and DNA testing on old bones they were able to close two sets of cold missing person cases.  The car on the bottom, a 1952 Chevrolet, contained the remains of three people 69-year-old John Alva; 42-year-old Cleburn Hammack, and 58-year-old Nora Duncan.  The trio had mysteriously disappeared in 1969. The next year another car, a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro, crashed into the water and settled on top of the ‘52 Chevy. In this car DNA was able to determine the identify of 16-year-old Jimmy Allen Williams and 18-year-olds Leah Gail Johnson and Thomas Michael Rios, 18. The teens had disappeared after heading off to a football game in 1970.

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I have been punched in the face and head more times than the average Joe.  I have also cracked a fairly long list of folks in the grill, face and head.  If one spends a couple decades fighting off and on both in the ring or at the bar the points start to add up; experience points and damage points.  Luckily, I have never been “seriously” injured.  This means I have never had to be hospitalized and I have never been actually knocked out.

The same cannot be said for Dan Henderson.

Daniel Jeffery Henderson, (born August 24, 1970) is an American mixed martial artist and former Olympicwrestler, who competes as a middleweight and light heavyweight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He was the last Strikeforce Light Heavyweight Champion and was the last Welterweight 183 lb (83 kg; 13.1 st) and Middleweight 205 lb (93 kg; 14.6 st) champion of Pride Fighting Championships. He was the only mixed martial artist to concurrently hold two titles in two different weight classes in a major MMA promotion. Henderson is also the UFC 17 Middleweight Tournament Winner, the 1997 Brazil Open Lightweight Tournament Champion, the RINGS King of Kings 1999 Tournament Winner, and the2005 PRIDE Welterweight Grand Prix Champion. As of September 29, 2014, Henderson is #8 in official UFC light heavyweight rankings.[3]

 

…yeah.  So, Dan Henderson is a walking talking facepunch legend.  Nobody, literally nobody, can dispute this.  The question everyone is now asking is more diffuse: Can Henderson continue to fight at an elite level and if not should he simply retire all together?

MMA and boxing are radically different, but if we look at boxing, just for comparative analysis we see that elite boxers rarely go beyond 45 professional fights with many of them stopping around the 35 mark.  Henderson has a professional fighting record of 43.  I cannot even begin to fathom what his amateur record was as a wrestler.  To assume it was well beyond 200 is no stretch whatsoever.  This is a lot of action for anyone, even a legend, and it is a path littered with injuries.

It probably began further back but it became apparent in every outing we have seen Henderson in since Belfort put his shin on Dan’s skull.  His “win” against Rua was the personification of the saying “lucky punch” and a bout in which he absorbed a tremendous amount of damage.  He was absolutely man-handle by Cormier. I remember watching the fight and shaking my head in disbelief; “This man was a two-time Olympian?”

Watch it above.  Cormier dominates Henderson; wall-to-wall domination.

Why is THIS fight such a big deal? There are two reasons.

One, it is recent. This is Dan Henderson today.

Two, it shows, in a painfully clear manner, that the one thing Dan Henderson had in his corner is now gone, his total domination when the fight went to wrestling.

 

So,what’s left? The right hand?  A powerful right but increasingly ineffective against the top tier.  At that level being a one trick pony is a great way to become a tomato can, which sadly Henderson seems to be looking more and more like.  Is this simply an age issue? Not at all.  It is largely due to complacent and stagnant training and an unwillingness to learn new tricks so to speak.  But perhaps that is the age related caveat itself.

Regardless of the why, it is clear that Henderson should retire.  If nothing else simply for his humiliating performance in the Cormier bout.  His Olympic legacy is paying the price.

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