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Today I had a meeting, just to get to know other “Teachers” at the new school I will be working at on Mondays and Wednesdays this year. I confirmed the time of the meeting with my office as 1400. My Office…god…don’t let me get started.  Have you ever seen “Being John Malkovich”?  Yeah, like that office.

Well, that was bullshit, the time I mean, not the comparison.

Actually it started at 1300. So, when I came sauntering up to the school sipping an espresso with milk like the pretentious asshole I tend to be, it took me a few moments to figure out what everyone was freaking out about. Luckily, they managed (via yelling, hopping and terrifyingly rapid use of aggressive gestures) to explain that I was late.
So I missed the damn meeting. Thanks Company.

I managed to have a brief discussion with one of the other puppets/teachers about what is being planned etc….and…the message was: Not a whole lot.

They finally got a book they want to use, but the thing is, this is supposed to be the first year they are doing and oral communication English course. That means, instead of teaching useless grammar, we are supposed to actually help students SPEAK ENGLISH. I know I know, revolutionary.

It’s like when I was in High school and “Studied” French. I learned how to conjugate about a million hundred words but I couldn’t ask people where the shitter was. That is essentially what is going on over here. So, whenever someone says “Oh hey so we are going to try to make people speak English”, I’m always dubious but at the same time secretly pumped. Visions of students thanking me for changing their lives by giving them the gift of a second language…hugs….kisses (not from dudes)….hugs and kisses from appreciative mothers (only hot ones, not fatties) followed by dinners (they pay) and then hopefully a hand job in an alley some place,  always spin around in my mind. This however is always WRONG. So here is this schools strategy for teaching ORAL ENGLISH COMMUNICATION…ready?


yeah….should be thrilling. Keep you posted.


Lately, a lot of people are reading this blog. I mean, GOD knows why you would waste you time and your brain sells here but the numbers are going up up and up.
I was nerding out and getting a massive EGO HUMMER by looking at all the traffic coming from google, and then as I read, well…I sort of felt at first uncomfortable, then quickly there after a bit gross then soon after down right filthy.
What are people typing into Google to find their way to this little blog?
See for yourself:

how to activate the mind for photoreadin (I can deal with this)
japanese queens
femdom (OK, we posted the interviews, fair enough)
japanese handjob clinic (
Huh? Where is this place?)
gaijinass (PROUD of IT)
the date that the tsunami hated the
coun (I dont even know what this is about)
chewie (Gross)
expert at getting laid in tokyo (
Well, if you say so.)
japanese girl forced on train (
This wasnt me.)
dry humping public transport (
steven seagal vs van damme and stallone (
This is totally COOL, just feel bad CHUCK NORRIS isn’t mentioned)
create a killer robot (
One of you actually GOOGLED THIS SHIT????)
japanese sex scandal (
Again, I wasn’t involved)
princess diana death (
Seriously, not my fault)
harumi (
Cute name but….)
punch a bitch! (
I totally get where you are coming from.)
porns camera tricks (
Yeah, its called “Pay the Ho”)
erika satou (
No jokes here, guilty as charged.)
shibuya drunk girls (
I likem too)
homo rape sex (
1. Did you meet my flat mate? 2. I wasnt incarcerated THAT long and 3. What happens in Madagascar stays in Madagascar.)
strange tentacle rape hentai (
“Strange tentacle rape’…as opposed to ‘Normal Tentacle rape” ? Get some help man, you need it.)
crazy girl groped (
Sure, this is fun for the whole family. I get it.)

Uh huh. Time for a shower. A shower then some Vodka….then a sandwich, one of the ones I make with the pesto and 3 types of meat and cheese and the greens. If you ever ate it, youd understand the hype. Anyway, I mean…whats wrong with you people? This is disturbing.
I guess it could be worse….at least we aren’t the hot spot for “Blind Nacho eating retard jokes” or “How to Join the KKK today!” or whatever but….well….I guess us getting listed on the Christian Coalitions “Websites to read and rejoice to!” is no longer a realistic option. I think, I am just going to start inserting random CLEAN and GOOD terms into our tags just so not all of our google referrals remind me of Japanese cartoons. Soon to come “HELP ORPHANS” and “BECOME A MILLIONARE TONIGHT!” and even “Learn to ACTUALLY LOVE YOUR SPOUSE.”

I shouldnt complain. Traffic is traffic and whatever I or my compatriot are writing, its cool to have people, even people like you, read our stuff. So muchos Gracias (that’s THANKS A BUNCH in Mexican talk) and by all means keep coming. Mail this site to your friends (if you have any) and leave comments.

Ok, I have to get going. I have to Masturbate, stretch (ran too far this morning, no, not from the police or after a screaming terrified woman) and then go eat some grilled animal flesh and likely drink too much.