7 Insanely Hilarious (and totally Offensive) Stand up bits
It’s been a while since I posted. Sure. But don’t blame me, it’s societies fault. Actually, I’ve just been busy on some other writing projects. Well, that and GJS has been getting his work out swerve on six days a week. There are people to offend with my narcissism and the summer in Tokyo does not accept a note from your mommy excusing you from being too sexy for your shirt.
First, in GJS news: Yosomono and I have a lot of new stuff coming up in the next few months. Articles about things that you haven’t seen on here before, a lot more in the way of multimedia and a lot more interviews. So, don’t go whining in the comments with “I liked it better when you just wrote about being in Prison in Japan.” Shut up. There are about a thousand ways we want to expand this whole experiment so we need our people, that’s you lot, to be on board and awesome as usual. Face punch an annoying stranger. Forward GJS articles. Shot gun a beer at a baby shower. Mission accomplished.
Second, this post today is something I’ve been thinking about for sometime. I love stand up comedy and I really think it’s a very complex and difficult thing to do and be good at. If you are sitting at home watching these clips thinking “Oh, I could do that. Just stand up and tell jokes.“ Then you’re a buffoon, and I’d like to punt you in the genitals. You are likely the same type of skid mark that sits on the couch eating Doritos, watching UFC, mumbling “I could kick this guys ass” as you polish off a six-pack of cherry coke.
Flying genital punt in route.
Stand up comedy is a torturous thing to be involved in and it takes a huge amount of commitment. It’s also a great way for us to relax after life takes a hot, steaming dump in our mouths, as it tends to do. Simply turn on a stand up special and laugh it off, then get up and go back to kick life’s ass and orchestrate some sweet, sweet vengeance.
I put up “offensive” bits because, over the last ten years this trend I have seen, in the west (Japanese comedy is horrid like a face-full of acid), an OBSESSION with being politically correct has taken hold and predictably, I despise this. Nobody has the right to not be offended. Sorry, but you don’t have that. If you dislike something, walk away and don’t listen. But people have the right to say what the want to say. Not “within reason” either. No, if someone wants to stand in the center a crowded park and scream “BALL CHEESE JEWS!” at the top of their stupid lungs, they should have that right. Maybe someone is going to go slap them in the teeth, but the right, the actual legal RIGHT to say anything is vitally important and is under real fire.
This is an absurdity.
Closing- enjoy the stand up and if you have bits of your own that make you hot in secret places, feel free to post the videos in the comments.
Let the Laughs begin.
Bob Saget- Don’t Fuck a goat
From “Full House” to “America’s Funniest home videos”, I love where this has gone. The fact that BOB SAGET was attached to, in fact the face of, two of America’s most notoriously family oriented shows is pure golden irony. I love it.
Bill Burr- On being a Mother
Bill Burr has been doing stand up for a long time, but it seems he’s just starting to break through to the next level. I hope he does too. He doesn’t pander to traditional easy audiences i.e. Women, and his genuine, almost visible angst on stage is visceral and awesome. His pod cast is totally worth listening too as well.
Louis CK – Pig newtons
Louis CK is my favorite comedian. Not simply for his stand up but also for his views and opinions in interviews regarding everything from capitalism, kids and marriage to whether or not Dick Cheney is actually a lizard in a skin suit. He has forged his own path and now is fully in the lime light, for how long, nobody knows but this is a funny, hard-working man. His new stand up special is pants shitting funny and is only 5 dollars to download. FIVE DOLLARS. This is possible because he paid for the production himself and has sold it entirely independently simply because he dislikes the current system that is set up just to rip off fans. Awesome stuff and a very worthwhile five to spend.
The clip below is from a previous show and is classic Louis.
Jim Jefferies- God is for idiots
Maybe it’s the Aussie accent, but this man has a magical way of pissing off Americans. The bit about religion being for dummies and those dummies heavily being Americans is almost a worn out cliché amongst British comedians. It’s so easy it’s a low blow. However, Jim Jefferies somehow brings it back to life. He’s also become well-known for being able to make people in the audience so angry they actually give him free face punches.
Natasha Leggero- Toilet Babies
Natasha Leggero presses my buttons, and by that I mean my sexy time ones. I can’t put my finger on it. I think though, it’s a combination of her generally lazy way of speaking combined with her being hilarious. Her being pretty hot does not hurt either. Leggero has launched a one woman war on conventionally accepted absurdities, Hip Hop “culture” and Jerry Springer’s entire target audience.
Andrew Dice Clay- Anti Gay Rant
Andrew Dice Clay is a legend because he’s a shit-bag. It’s that simple. He also happens to be an incredibly prolific comic, or rather he was in his time. As of late he’s been too busy trying to get in fights with one testicled former “it” men. This bit falls in line with the entire politically incorrect movement I am a member of. Do I actually dislike homosexuals? Not as a group, no. Do I think as a group they are absolutely fucking ridiculous? Oh yeah, but no more than red necks that love NASCAR or the concept of PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL. Really? You’re a professional at bouncing a ball and our society applauds this. That ladies and gentleman is why they hate us…now on to Andrew Dice Clay.
Sarah Silverman- Martin Luther King
This Jew Broad has single handedly pissed off a vast amount of people. What’s left to say about Silverman? She’s been called a hack, an unfunny whore, a Jew…add explicative. If you can come up with it someone has said it about her, yet still she stands.
Her absolute refusal to apologize or make excuses for her jokes is probably the thing that makes her so loved/hated.
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